Thomas V. Gray (Tom), 87, of Denver, NC, passed away peacefully on September 2, 2026, at Levine & Dickson Hospice House after a short but courageous battle with lymphoma. Born September 18, 1938, in Baltimore, Maryland, Tom was the son of the late Thomas G. and Margaret R. Gray (Straw). Both parents were children of first-generation Lithuanian immigrants. Tom was a graduate of Loyola High School and continued his education at Loyola College of Baltimore. While working full time, Tom later earned his Law degree from Mt. Vernon School of Law and passed the Bar in 1965.
Tom was a man faith, family, work-ethic, and tradition. Loved by so many, Tom maintained a positive outlook on life and continued to inspire and encourage friends and family members with his stories of challenge, accomplishment, and faith even during these challenging days. Tom wrote a book about his life and lessons in 2015. He wrote this with his heart of love to inspire his family and others with his challenges, accomplishments, and experiences that shaped him into the wonderful man he was.
Tom was proud of his Lithuanian heritage often expressed by his craving of the traditional Lithuanian cookie, ausuke (elephant ear). The pride in his heritage was developed at a young age. In the summer months of his youth, he would often take train rides alone to Pittsburgh and work with his maternal grandparents in their downtown shoe store. In the evenings, he would play pinochle with their Lithuanian friends. While in his teens, Tom would attend pro basketball and football games with his dad. These experiences are where Tom gained his competitive spirit. In addition, you could often find Tom shooting basketball on his backboard and hoop he dug out of the trash and nailed to a lit up electrical pole outside his home.
His dream was to play basketball for Loyola. When he was asked to be manager of Loyola’s team, a friend told the coach he really wanted to play. Given the chance to try out for the Fresh-Soph team, he immediately quit smoking, made the team, and played for the balance of his college years. While at Loyola College, Tom also attended training camp for the ROTC program and met a beautiful young lady named Betty Pogge. She was voted Queen of the Military Ball by the ROTC cadets, making Tom the proudest student on campus. Post college, Tom continued his officer training in Fort Eustis, Virginia where he became a transportation officer in the Army. Engaged to Betty at this time, he was assigned to Ft. Meade, where Tom served as the Chief of Transportation. One of his duties involved working with the Secret Service to coordinate transportation for visiting dignitaries who were often welcomed by President Kennedy at Reagan Airport.
Tom’s biggest joy in life was his family. Tom and Betty married September 16. 1961, eventually settling in Ellicott City, where they built their life together and raised four children, Beth, Chris, Lori and Michael. They enjoyed summers vacationing in Ocean City, MD and watching the kids compete in swim meets. Tom & Betty played in tennis tournaments together and as individuals, even winning a few titles. Tom also coached many of the kid’s basketball teams, continuing his passion and love for the game.
When Tom finished his active duty, he continued his post-collegiate job at the Social Security Administration (SSA) in Baltimore. This is when he returned to law school. Tom worked at the SSA in various positions of growing responsibility over the next 30 plus years, eventually becoming the Director of the Division of Disability Quality Assurance. After retirement Betty and Tom moved to Denver, NC to enjoy some warm weather, golf, and family.
Tom was preceded in death by his son, Michael T. Gray and his parents. Michael inherited Tom’s love for sports, music and food, especially Maryland crabs. Tom appreciated and admired Michael’s chef skills.
He is survived by his wife of 65 years, Anne Elizabeth (Betty); his daughters Beth (Ejnar) Knudsen of Reno, Nevada; Chris (Scott) Aiello of Mansfield, Ohio; Lori (Scott) Enstrom of Huntersville, North Carolina; his cherished grandchildren, Kelsey, Megan, Jake, Annika, Brett, Josh, Alex, Audrey, Eva and Einar; sisters Patricia (Ken) Gardner and Kathleen (Fred) Raab, brother Daniel Gray; sister-in-law Nancy Grant; and nieces and nephews.
Friends will be received from 4p.m. to 7 p.m. Monday, September 7, 2026, in the Good Samaritan Funeral Home, Denver, NC. A Catholic Funeral Mass will be held September 8, 2026, at 11:00 a.m. at Holy Spirit Catholic Church, Denver, NC.
In Lieu of flowers, memorial contributions can be made in Tom’s memory to Holy Spirit Catholic Church Building Fund, 537 Highway 16, Denver, NC 28037 or the Levine & Dickson Hospice House, 11900 Vanstory Dr., Huntersville, NC 28078.
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