Thomas M. Detzel

Home, Family, and the Simple Joys of Life

Tom was a quiet man with a wonderfully wicked sense of humor that could catch you by surprise and bring laughter to everyone around him. Though he didn’t always speak much, when he did, it was often something clever that lit up the room. Even in difficult times, his humor never left him. At the hospital, the nurses told us that Tom joked that they had “kidnapped him,” showing that even then, his sense of humor and his lighthearted spirit remained strong.

Tom and Sabine shared a lifetime together that began when they met in high school in 1977. They went to prom together and started a journey that would span decades of love, partnership, and adventure. They honeymooned in St. Martin long before it became what it is today, bought their first fixer-upper home in Woodhaven, Queens—where Alex was born—and later made homes in Demarest, New Jersey, before eventually settling in Lake Norman, North Carolina.

Together they built their forever lake house, a place they felt blessed to call home. Each morning there felt like waking up on a stay-cation—something they never imagined when they were just two kids growing up in Queens, New York. Life there was simple and good: sharing dinners, watching TV together on the screened back porch, and enjoying the peaceful rhythm of the lake.

Above all else, Tom was a devoted family man. He put his family first in everything he did and was a loving husband, father, brother, uncle, and friend whose steady presence meant so much to those who knew him. Tom was incredibly proud of Alex and the man he has become. He enjoyed spending time with Alex on lunch trips, tagging along on his adventures, and was excited for Alex’s new adventure of building his home with his dream garage—Tom was so happy for him.

He also had a passion for collecting coins, a hobby he shared with Alex. Together they spent time discovering the stories and history behind each coin, building both a collection and cherished memories.

Tom was also a proud and steady supporter throughout Alex’s journey in Scouting. From meetings and merit badges to trips and projects, he was always there. His encouragement helped Alex achieve the honor of earning his Eagle Scout badge, a milestone they both shared with pride. He was a great dad beyond measure.

Tom rediscovered his love for art later in life. After attending the High School of Art and Design in New York City, he returned to sketching in black and white and painting with watercolors. More recently, he began taking an acrylic painting class as well. He eagerly attended weekly art classes where he continued to learn and refine his craft and spent time with fellow artists. His family feels especially blessed to be surrounded by the beautiful artwork he created. Tom took great joy in sharing that creativity, often gifting his pieces to family and friends.

He loved the simple pleasures of life—watching classic television shows like Car 54 and Perry Mason, enjoying baseball and football games, and spending time with family and friends. Tom was known for his small acts of kindness, like bringing Sabine a hot latte while he was out running errands or picking up a sandwich for Alex for lunch and asking, “What else do we need?” He also had a special place in his heart for the family pets, Felix the cat and Archie the doodle, who were happily spoiled each day with treats and attention.

Tom treasured time with the extended family and was blessed to enjoy the next generation of great-nieces and great-nephews. Last summer, we were fortunate to share a family trip to Gatlinburg, Tennessee with the “Detzel/Ronzio/Rickey” relatives from Chicago. We stayed together in a large cabin and created wonderful memories. Holidays were always special as well, spent locally with the “Leubner” relatives. We are truly blessed to have such a large and loving family network.

Throughout his life, Tom found happiness in the simple and meaningful parts of life—family dinners, time by the lake, sharing laughter, and caring for the people he loved. His quiet strength, gentle humor, and kind heart will never be forgotten. We are grateful for the years we shared with him, and we will carry his love and memory with us always.

He was deeply loved, and his presence will forever remain in the hearts of those who knew him.

Tom passed away on February 15, 2026, at the age of 67 following an unexpected cancer diagnosis, surrounded by his loving family. The family will hold a celebration of life this summer. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the American Diabetes Association, the American Cancer Society, or the American Heart Association.